Oprah: Conquest of the Saltines

Shay Ridge (B Watch)

Welcome back to Berta Blogs! I’m your host Shay and we are coming to you live from ship’s library (also dubbed the: prone to seasickness room + trust there’s been plenty), bringing you an inside scoop on what has been going on aboard the Seamans!

Phronemid amphipod spotted in Neuston Tow

First segment: The Morning

Still reeling from yesterday’s stu-stew day and absolute rager of a costume party (10 themed hats exactly), drenched and playing the game: is this sweat or dishwater? Your host began today with a late wake up around 0900 and headed straight to the galley. Feeling sleepy, I half-consciously ate a coconut pancake, but I’m pretty sure the pancake was conscious because it did not seem like a happy camper in my stomach. Anyways, ate a bit and read a lot on the lab top before genius struck. My favorite place on the whole ship is the tippity-top of the foremast, and so the countdown began from my genius climb to my watching meeting at 1130.

Now aloft, I could see the whole ship, from Una at the Neuston Tow, Massi steering at the helm, and each and every seam in our stays’ls. Usually, I like to sit and watch the horizon in silence for a while but today the music compelled me.

Daily Theme Song: Vienna by Billy Joel

It was just as peaceful, and the combination of wind, tunes and views will always bring me happiness.

Captain Kevin on top of the world at Sunrise PH amph

Segment Numero 2: Afternoon Watch

Yeah this one was something, something for sure. I started at the lookout position, and usually Lila catches me at some point talking to myself but today there was no such visit. Instead, I saw her next right before Rosie went to lead us in setting the jib! Batch (B Watch) is the sail handling team after all, and we most definitely killed it with our new watch officers Krista, Megan and Olivia. You’ll never guess what else was in store for our team today….. DECK WASH!

We conducted some pre-wash interviews with the Batch guests to get a feel for the mission at hand:

Nils said he is “loving life” and Lila, well she said no comment. But your host didn’t stop there. Rosie AK joyously exclaimed that she was “excited to wash”, apparent as she full-out lunged at the firehouse on her hands and knees ready to scrub because she absolutely did not need one of those silly old brooms. No no, Rosie was on it! However the rest of us looked like a game of human bowling, Nils’ firehouse the ball knocking us all over along with rocking of the ship, all ready to shout a victorious “strike”!

Engineering Report Flashback Flick

Oh and don’t you fret, post-wash interviews were conducted as well on our seasick bowling pins. Our lead scrubber Rosie was too humble, “all in a day’s work” for her. Sofie Wise comments on our fresh squeaky clean deck:

“nothing like looking squeasy and feeling queasy”.  This one was a bit impromptu, but I think the world also needs to know of Megan’s thoughts of the Boobie on the mast: “all they do is shit”. Don’t tell her I said that.

But our seasick sailors weren’t done yet (as much as they wanted to be). I think they call this part happy hour, but the name was very misleading. It went down more like this: seasickness, eating the emergency seasick crackers, Lila saying how much she loved the crackers, going through a good

8 packs of saltines, dropping the saltines on the newly cleaned deck, Olivia our saltine cracker ally telling us to pick them up, us eating the crumbs off the deck, and the seasick labbies dreading going back to 100-counts that made them nauseous in the first place.

Become a sailor they said, it will be fun they said.

Final Segment:

Ok all jokes aside, the watch and day were pretty fun. I ripped a lot of boat checks, testified by our engineers and the engine room I named Carl. We had class with coconut macaroons, learning about clouds and science, and some drills. Dinner was grilled cheese, butternut squash soup, pork belly and citronade made from the 2 hours I took juicing limes yesterday. Today has reminded me that time on the ship is short, and so is life. All the amazing people you meet, the fun you have dancing around and handling sails, learning about history and culture, it could all be gone in a fleeting instant. So, let me share with you today’s lesson: Life is too short to be scared. I know I will be holding that one true to my heart and continuing to live life mindfully and with love.

Now, I’m off for the nightly journal, mediation and stargaze. That concludes today’s episode of the Berta Blogs, thanks for tuning in and goodnight!

Shay Ridge (B Watch)