Programs Blog

Author: Nicholas Lapic, C Watch, College of the Atlantic

Ship’s Log

February 24, 2024

Position: 39°27.137 ‘S x 177°22.029 ‘E

Heading: 183° true

Speed: 4.8 knots

Weather: Clear skies for most of the day with vibrant sunshine, some warmth, calm seas and winds, and then expressive afternoon clouds.

Boyakasha, my fellow Turtles.

This is my longest stint working as an undercover mutant so far and I am
pleased as punch to say none of the others suspect a thing. The humanlings
should hopefully *knock on wood* not discover my dastardly secretive plot to
mutate the ship’s company into a small militia of animalistic fiends. My
progress on the special mutagen comprised of scrap food, Envirox, and liquid
knowledge leeched from the brains of the crew is astounding and is expected
to be completed in 10 days barring unfortunate circumstances.

Despite the words of the Great Council concerning the upper world and human
hobbies I must say that I have found comfort in some activities and
sceneries here in what this disheveled map calls “Aotearoa/New Zealand”.

The views have been immaculate on scales indescribable; cliffs and islands
out of fantasy lands. The water here is one of the glossiest and shiniest
blue tapestries I have ever seen and tastes like the kisses my mother would
give me on the forehead as a toddler.

Not to mention the variety of avian compatriots I have had the pleasure of
telepathically communicating with has been a recent guilty pleasure of mine.
The countless gannets, terns, petrels, and albatross species have been a
recent and absolute delight (I sang about revolution with a Sooty Albatross
not too long ago). The mammalian counterparts (I believe they have been
dubbed Spinner and Striped Dolphins) seem to be devoid of emotional
conversational abilities. The dolphins have an astounding intellect beyond
that of even the humans and, alas, talk smack to other species constantly
making chit-chat with them hilariously poor.

As much as I hate to say it, human interactions have been fairly sufficient
as well. My “shipmates” aboard this vessel have been raucous yet
entertaining company and continue to surprise me with their emotional
capabilities. Today we experienced the group effort of “tacking” a large
ship, a process in which we steer the vessel head on into winds in an
attempt to turn it around using almost all set sails. While I can’t say I
enjoyed this activity due to the labor involved, the laughter and commitment
of those surrounding me made the work feel lighter. Along with this, we also
celebrated one of my shipmates, Olivia’s (third mate), birthday, an activity
that brought me an odd amount of laughter. In fact the company has been
doing more for me than I expected simple-minded humans to be capable of. The
motivation that these beings are capable of is shocking; using every fiber
of their vocal chords to muster support for the simplest hand washes. I find
it easier to do work here. I find it easier to be in an open community here.
I find it I find it easier to laugh normally then to feign my laughter at
the comments of my peers like I used to. This is making me excited to move
forward with the Great Council’s plan.

The hope was to turn the humans simply into an army; a group of controllable
and workable soldiers. However, an army we can communicate and encourage
effectively is even better. Perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to try and mingle more
with my future combatants to learn strengths and weaknesses.

I don’t get a great psychic pathway to the Great Council from out here so I
hope they take my message into consideration and give me telepathic updates
when communication is possible. For now, the mutagen progress shall
continue, and I hope to gain inspiration for my future soldiers.

Cowabunga,

Nicholas Lapic, C Watch, College of the Atlantic

(P.S. A message to my Family and Sophie: Love you all, Boomshakalaka <3)